Table with plants, candle, tea in coffee cup that is sitting on top of a notebook.

The Effects of Perfectionism

Here I am trying to think of the perfect blog post about perfectionism..

Anyone else been there?

We just have to show up. We don’t have to do it perfect. We don’t have to please everyone. We just have to be us and show up HOW WE WANT TO. We can’t wait “until we are perfect” or “until we are ready” or “until we know enough” because that day will never come. Easier said than done, right?

But here’s the thing, nothing has to be perfect. For real. It really doesn’t. Nothing in this world is 100% perfect.

I give you permission right now to not be perfect. 

Perfectionists are not people who are perfect or show up perfect. Perfectionists are people who are so bogged down by their own criticism and self-judgment that they often stop doing the things they want or give up because they burned themselves out. So what happens when we think we should do things perfectly?

Thinking that we SHOULD be perfect implicitly tells ourselves that we are not perfect. So we don’t show up. We don’t make the post. We don’t reach out to our friends when they need help. We don’t commit to OURSELVES when we want to reach our goals. We hide away hoping no one can see us waffling in indecision. We hide away so we don’t have to look at ourselves or try.

Sorry to burst your bubble, but don’t bother hiding from yourself.. you’re always with yourself. Let people see you, the real you, imperfect and all and you will attract people that dig you for being AUTHENTIC you. Nothing feels better than being around people that make you happy because they love you for you, with your unique experiences, and you don’t have to pretend you are someone you aren’t.

Think about who you want to be in the future. What if I told you that Future You is waiting for you right now? You would do what you have to do to get there right? 

Well, Future You is waiting for you RIGHT NOW. And all it takes is one baby step in front of the other. 

Don’t let fear or mistakes hold you back. Life is just one big learning adventure game, like chutes and ladders. Sometimes you fall back down and sometimes you climb up. The ONLY WAY you are going to get further in the game is if you keep rolling and moving ahead square by square, baby step by baby step, right?

Before life coaching, I was someone who waffled in indecision. Constantly afraid I was making the wrong decision or if I made a decision that I was 100% sure I would be happier if I had made the other decision. Super afraid of starting and equally afraid of finishing anything. Now I am a life coach and am helping others reach their goals, step by step. 

But before? Before I tried all the planners, all the courses, all the journals. I wanted so bad to do things perfectly so I could finally feel good. I would get the motivation to start out strong, make it a couple weeks, and then miss a day. Missing a day stopped me dead in my tracks. I had to then START OVER because I “fell off the wagon”. I discounted all 14 days of work that I put in and instead of continuing on the path I was on – I would start at day one and every time I would miss a day, I would go back to square one. What I was telling myself was “You can’t stay on track, you always do this, you always fall off, why do you even bother..” and on and on.

All of those things we tell ourselves are important because our thoughts create how we feel. And how we feel controls how we act. So all of this guilting and shaming myself would work in the short term, but because I was in hustle mode trying to be perfect, I would burn myself out really fast. Then I would beat myself up again for not doing the plan.

So beat myself when I am doing the plan or beat myself up when I didn’t do the plan. No wonder it felt terrible. Coaching made me realize how often I criticized myself and that instead of starting over, I could miss a day and not make it mean anything about myself. WHAAAAAT! Totally blew my mind. Yep, you DON’T have to be mean to yourself to get anything done. That alone was life-changing for me.

If this sounds like you and you want more help with your goals, set up a discovery call with me in the Work With Me tab!

Question prompt for the day: What are you currently believing about your ability to accomplish your goals?


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